40 something

I don't feel 42.  I am though.  Today I was laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself .  Eating 4 double stuffed Oreos did not help.  I fell into a Oreo induced nap.  When I woke up I remembered my mom was gone , It hard for me still after one year to think of my mom being gone.  For those of you who do not know she passed from ALS , for those of you who do know , sorry to bring it up again.  Its terribly hard to lose your mom and best friend.  I have a good family and a set of excellent friends!  Still there is one huge hole left  in my heart when the Lord called her home.

Shes in a better place, shes not suffering anymore, you will see her again , she is with Jesus, It takes time.  I hear this a lot.  Your all right but it still hurts .  

I got up off the couch.  I got dressed to take a 3 mile walk.  My first in a long time.  I love to walk.  I want to be healthy .  I lay on the couch and think about it all the time while I'm eating naughty things and watching shows about Meth heads, women who have snapped, people who want there singing dreams to come true.  I did it today though....I got off the couch and walked.  It felt so good.  I thought about eating only vegetables and fruit to make up for my Oreo behavior. I had visions of the petite fit woman I could be.  

When I got home from the walk , the last song was "We are the Champions" by Queen.  I felt like a champ.  I did it I got off the couch.  My sweet neighbor made me a banana cake while I was out.  I came home and was faced with a evil delicious cake. I'd like to tell you friends that I said "Be gone Satan " I will not eat that cake but I did not  , I shoveled it in my mouth  ,  it was great.  I kept telling myself nuts were good in moderation and banana was a fruit. 

I'm going to keep trying .  Thanks for reading.