No More G tube!

He was deployed to Iraq when it first was placed.  I was 7 or 8 months pregnant with Jacob.  My sweet baby girl with the rotten liver disease needed a feeding tube.  It has to be surgically placed because of the other ugly scar she had on her little belly, from a previous surgery at just 1 week old. I was scared but I did not know how scared I should have been.

She came out of surgery weighing 14lbs and sporting a new tube in her belly.  I watched as they gave her a big vial of some pink stuff by mouth.  Then in horror I watched my girl barf it up.  I watched them try to give it to her again and I asked the nurse what she was doing?  She said  "I am giving her some pain medication ".  I said  "don't give it to her again".  In my big over stuffed purse I had a bottle of tylenol for babies, my portion I normally would give her looked very small compared to the big vial they were giving my baby.  The Nurse said "Do you want your baby to be in pain?" I said  "no,  but I don't want to watch her throw up again either".  I told the nurse I would give her my baby tylenol.  The nurse rudely told me That I would not dose by the bedside, I remember getting on my tip toes and meeting her face to face and and replying "Watch me"!!

 I am so glad God gave me the courage and mothers instinct to stick up for Emma.  The nurse told me to wait where I was , she was going to go check on something.  When she came back , she had to admit the Dr put in the wrong dose of Tylenol for my daughter.  I praise God and often think of how close we came to maybe losing her from a accidental overdose.  A careless mistake, a potentially deadly one, ecspecaily for a liver patient!  Since that day I have been a mama bear , defending her with all I have at times.

The Gtube caused a lot of issues requiring 5 trips to the ER and my husband being sent home early from deplyment.

For 8 years, I changed gauze, tube fed, cried, screamed, cursed and from the same mouth both praised, felt lucky and relief that I had something to help make my baby grow and give her a fighting chance.  I am a firm believer that a gtube is a blessing although it has brought forth many curses from my lips.

In January 2014 , Emma got the tube taken out, we waited for it to heal up.  It did not and had to be surgically stitched. All the memories of getting the tube hit me like a tidal wave.

 I lost my mom a few years ago (STUPID ALS!).  She was always there to encourage me and set me straight when my thinking and feeling got out of whack.  Now it was just me and God.  I prayed, I prayed for peace, I prayed for protection, I prayed for immediate healing , I kept wondering if he was listening to me.  I kept wondering why some prayers get answered and others do not. My dad pointed out that thank God some prayers are not answered could I imagine what this life would be like? I wanted this one answered! In a BIG way!!! I boldly approached the thrown to plead my case, I humbly approached the throne, I begged at the throne.  I admit I am a beggar sometimes when it comes to prayer.  I asked everyone I knew to pray.

 It took a while to get in for the surgery so I had plenty of times to work myself up and get myself sick, then get mad at myself for not trusting God enough. For my friends who are not believers , I love you and I thank you for sticking with me here  .    

Here comes the cool part!! On the day of preOp.  We saw the biggest rainbow ever as we were driving to the hospital .  As I saw the rainbow we actually started driving through the rainbow, right under the arch for about 5 miles!!! How cool is that!!! I knew God was with us!!   What a wonderful , beuatiful way to show us! How do you not feel instant relief .  I cried tears of joy and laughed and cried some more, happy tears.

Surgery went well , took one hour longer than they told me.  Emma is home and healing well, off pain meds and I am looking for ward to a new chapter in our lives. Praise the Lord!!!

Mama's Little Fella

MAMAS LITTLE FELLA

We are playing catch up on school.  Last year I had the honor to care for my mama who was dying of ALS.  I lived in my own house for 5 days a week and the traveled 3 hours a week to my moms house to care for her for the other 2 days.  I also worked 1 day a week cake decorating.  Something had to give in my schedule and unfortunaely it was my kids schooling.  It was agonizing to me to do this, but I knew I could catch this area up in my life , the schooling.  My Mom I could never get back.  I chose to be with my family and bring my mama home to the Lord with the rest of the family. It was her dying wish that she never be placed in a hospital.  We honored that.  I am so proud to say she never was .  It was hard but we kept her out.  ALS is very hard , your loved one can not speak, move or even scratch themselves in the end .  Can you imagine.  It was horrible to watch my mama be fully alert and not be able to move or speak. Anyway, I hate to remember those times but my mind pulls me back.

Mama and me 

                                                                 

 

me and my little fella  

Back to the present...Jacob schooling the reason I am writing today.  My main goal in life right now is to educate my kids.  With Gods help I believe I can bring those kids back up to there grade level.  I spend most of my time at a table teaching or in a bed reading with my kids.   I'm fiercely protective of my time right now and have to say no to many things.  I've had a rough week with Jake. I won't go in to details but lets just say it was like 100 rounds of I'm the mom and your my son. This is my house and these are my rules.  In the end it was more like God please teach me how to be this boys mom (before I kill him ) and then try to apply it.  I felt like God kept telling me grace, second chances, love is not rigid and that was what I was trying to be with Jake black and white and nothing in between.  I finally backed off Jake and tried to just help him .  He had a open and willing heart to hear me , that had to have been God!  What I have learned in myself is I get angry a lot.  In teaching Jake how not to be angry it has forced me to look at every action of my own anger and it aint pretty.  I know those of you who know me well are nodding your head in agreement right now. 

me doing my mama thing (heehee)

 I never realized how angry and how much I grumbled until my little fella started taking on those traits.  Now what? I don't know , I will keep trying because I can't live with this , seeing that in my child , I  I am thankful to Jake for teaching me and opening my eyes .    

OK...I can't wait any longer to blurt out my good news this was a note from Jake's teacher yesterday

  I have to celebrate again!!!! We had the DIBELs reading test today and OMG! In September I have to tell you that Jake was the lowest in the class.  He was barely able to pass level A on the DRA. But NOW!!!>>>> he moved from Intensive to Strategic and was far from the bottom!!! AND is on level D! The growth he's made this year is INSANE!!! And will only get better with his hard work and determination)

I'm sooo proud of him!!! I love that boy!  

PRAISE GOD !!!

     For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I'm one proud mama! and thankful to all the teachers in Jake's life!  Thankful to God for second chances!

40 something

I don't feel 42.  I am though.  Today I was laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself .  Eating 4 double stuffed Oreos did not help.  I fell into a Oreo induced nap.  When I woke up I remembered my mom was gone , It hard for me still after one year to think of my mom being gone.  For those of you who do not know she passed from ALS , for those of you who do know , sorry to bring it up again.  Its terribly hard to lose your mom and best friend.  I have a good family and a set of excellent friends!  Still there is one huge hole left  in my heart when the Lord called her home.

Shes in a better place, shes not suffering anymore, you will see her again , she is with Jesus, It takes time.  I hear this a lot.  Your all right but it still hurts .  

I got up off the couch.  I got dressed to take a 3 mile walk.  My first in a long time.  I love to walk.  I want to be healthy .  I lay on the couch and think about it all the time while I'm eating naughty things and watching shows about Meth heads, women who have snapped, people who want there singing dreams to come true.  I did it today though....I got off the couch and walked.  It felt so good.  I thought about eating only vegetables and fruit to make up for my Oreo behavior. I had visions of the petite fit woman I could be.  

When I got home from the walk , the last song was "We are the Champions" by Queen.  I felt like a champ.  I did it I got off the couch.  My sweet neighbor made me a banana cake while I was out.  I came home and was faced with a evil delicious cake. I'd like to tell you friends that I said "Be gone Satan " I will not eat that cake but I did not  , I shoveled it in my mouth  ,  it was great.  I kept telling myself nuts were good in moderation and banana was a fruit. 

I'm going to keep trying .  Thanks for reading.  

Rice Crispy wedding cake

YIKES!

Got a call from a friend who said your a baker so we thought of you first to make our daughters wedding cake.

I'm not a baker ( I wish I was ) but  I am a cake decorator. They did not want cake either , they wanted a rice crispy treat as big as a wedding cake.  Oh Boy!  I've never made rice crispy treats that I can remember.  They seemed easy so I said sure!  Then I broke out in a sweat and full blown panic attack....could I do this?

 I Immediately started Making test batches....5lbs later ( yea I ate most of them too) . I figured I could do this.  I love pintrest , they had the picture ....but no directions .

Rule number one- use a non stick pan, with handles.  You might want to start working out before hand because its a lot of arm work.

Rule number two- spray your pan with Pam! , spray your hands with pam to avoid sticking as you squish the treats into the pan.  You have to make sure the treats are squished down good!! build up the sides nice and tight.  When you have filled the whole pan take a knife to gently remove the treats from the side of the pan , thanks to PAM this will be effortless! Flip treats on to your board.  I made two batches to make two layers to give the cake the height it needed.  The tricky part was making the treat look like it was one whole.  (Keep smashing)   I pushed a cookie sheet up against the sides to give it a nice sharp square look. 

To add support or not? Rice crispy treats are light but I decided to stick to the wedding cake basics on support.  I used chopsticks for my dowels .  Marked with a pen and then cut on those lines so I could stack my next rice crispy tier up. I also covered my board in saran wrap so I would not dry out the treats.

side cakes

 Here is my final , They wanted ribbon and lace .  I used marshmellow cream to make the ribbon sick and used a glue gun to get the lace to stick to the ribbon.  I was tickled pink on how well it turned out being my first time and all.  Fresh fruit and flowers were added at the wedding reception.  word of advice for anyone trying to make this - you need the right pans, I doubled the batches when I was cooking on the stove.  It took about 15 boxes of treats and I lost track on the marshmellows.  Use the tiny ones though.  I used real butter !! Don't skimp. Bottom pan is a 16" square, 12" and then 8 " square. I made side cakes for extra I was not sure if this would feed the 300 guest they were expecting so I made 4 half sheet treats. Fruity pebbles, chocolate pebbles, Peanut butter and regular.  We Pre-cut these. My Best bud Jenny did this for me .





Tah Da..................

Chritmas at the Spalingers

we stayed home for Chr

Make a Smilebox photobook

istmas! here are the pics!

Just me

Hello,
Just me trying to stay sane. It seems like we have had snow for two weeks. This is very unusual for our neck of the woods. I don't like it too hot and I don't like it too cold.

You ever wish you just had some time at home so you could finish projects, get things done , get organized? Well I have that now thanks to the snow fall. Have I done it? NOPE! Which brings me to my next realization I am never satisfied. Always complaining about something. Right now I am complaining that I can't go work out. If I could go work out I would be complaining about that.

I don't even feel like finishing this blog.

Make a Smilebox photobook